Life is for living- it really is!

When Audrey first proposed the title for the blog “Life is for living Guatemala”, I had my doubts. ‘Pretentious’ and ‘cheesy’ were the first thoughts that came to my mind. However, the name slowly grew on me, and within the last few weeks I have realized that it is the perfect idea for the months we spent in Guatemala and our approach towards life.

For us, selling everything we owned, moving far away from our families and friends, leaving steady jobs, and the comfortable lifestyle we knew to be together, serve a new community and broaden our perspective of the world, seemed risky but worth the trouble. As Audrey was trying to decide whether she should come and join me in SMT, a friend asked her how she would feel

when she was 80 if she hadn’t gone. The thought made her nauseous and she knew that although it was unconventional, taking this risk was the right decision for her. Throughout the time in Guatemala, both on my own and with Audrey, I always knew it to be the right decision for me, too. There may have been tarantulas and scorpions, bathing with buckets, carrying drinking water a quarter of a mile, and washing clothes by hand, but we felt invigorated by the challenges of life and the lessons we learned.

The blog title has now developed a deeper meaning in the last month as we have experienced the ending of several people’s lives. In September, there were two deaths in the Santa Maria Tzeja community. The first was an elderly woman, Magdalena, who suffered from cirrhosis and had been ill for many months. Two weeks later, a four year old girl, Jennifer, drowned as she was bathing. While both deaths were very sad, Audrey and I were given a new perspective of death, grieving and the importance of community through the lens of Guatemalan culture.

In each of these stories, we were struck by how the entire community came together to grieve and celebrate the lives of those who passed, for example those who gathered at Magdalena's house, above. Wakes in Santa Maria Tzeja are truly all night celebrations with the majority of the community present. Church musicians play and sing, and members of the community read spiritual texts and lead prayers. The day of the funeral, nearly the entire community forms a procession to accompany the family to the cemetery and lay the deceased to rest. In subsequent nights, community members join the family for the novena, a devotion consisting of prayer that lasts nine days. We found the entire experience to be a beautiful reflection of how a community is an extension of family and how important it is to support each other as we laugh, cry, grow and learn.

On October 9^th, I received news that my grandmother Ruth had passed away unexpectedly. After talking with my mother and Audrey, it was an obvious decision for us to return home to Pittsburgh to be with my family in this time of grieving. As we started to pack our things, we initially talked about coming back in a few weeks but as we kept packing, we realized that it would be unrealistic to return this fall so we gathered our most important things. We had one hour to pack and say good-bye to some of our students, like Domingo and Selvin, and our Guatemalan family – Randall, Juana, Kristina, Phoebe, Aida and Randall Jr. – with whom we shared meals and had become very, very close. Then we hopped on the bus out of town, knowing that we would maintain a relationship with this community for years to come.

Despite the twelve hours of bus rides and ten hours of flight, slightly jet-lagged and culture shocked, Audrey and I were able to make it back in time for my Grandmother’s memorial service and funeral. The memorial service was a beautiful celebration of Ruth’s life and how she shared her love of life and of God with everyone she knew, especially with her family. Through all the tears and sadness of losing someone so loved and so loving, we were repeatedly reminded by Ruth’s example of how important it is to live life as fully as possible with those you love.

Stripping away all the differences between the US and Guatemala that we encountered, we found that the resounding desire, the human desire, to unite with others and share the joy that is life, crossed cultural boundaries. This blog has given us the opportunity to process and share our experiences with all of you, friends and family around the world, as we grew and learned. You have helped us to live life more fully and we hope that you share our feeling that life, wherever we are, really is for living!

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go…

In a summer theatre program in elementary school, I was a dwarf in a spin-off of Snow White, though that’s not what this blog post is about. During my four months here in Guatemala, I have yet to write a blog post about what I am actually doing here. Allow me to explain.

Upon deciding to move down to Guatemala, I spoke with community leaders about work with which SMT needed some help. It seemed that I would be working with various groups and members of the community on entrepreneurial initiatives, possibly focused on microfinance. In my first month here, I did indeed meet with several people involved with various projects:
-Emiliano – an engineer, the town’s first university graduate and former mayor of the community who is interested in starting a sustainable forestry business to maximize the resources of the area.
-Aurelio – a near-university grad working with a honey project in its second year of development whose members are interested in expanding the viability of their (delicious!) honey on the market.
-Marta – the 2009 director of the women’s committee, which has their own microlending program that they administer every year to women who want to earn extra money through small projects like a chicken farm or string for weaving.

After those initial conversations, which seemed to go very well, I heard little to nothing from those individuals, even after following up and leaving detailed project notes. Instead, I have been primarily planning and teaching the English classes with Edd. I really enjoy teaching but I have also felt frustrated about not going anywhere with these projects I that I thought would be working with. I sent my friend Katie a message explaining my frustration and here is an excerpt of what she sent back; it’s a concise statement about the complicated nature “helping”.

“On the one hand, you don't want to impose your own ideas of what the community needs, so you want to be responsive to what the community asks for. On the other hand, if the community doesn't ask you for anything, you're a bump on a log and feel useless. Then, there you are, feeling useless, and your own needs (to be useful, needed, relied on for something) have creeped back into the picture! Your scrupulous, conscientious efforts to be selfless are totally backfiring! This is a serious quandary. The ideal is to respond to the needs of the community. But there are two problems associated with that approach- (1) what if the community thinks it doesn't need you (or worse, what if they're right)? and (2) what if you can't provide what the community thinks it needs? Both of these possibilities can be scary. Very possibly risks worth taking, but scary.”

So, in the midst of my altruistic quest in moving to SMT, I have actually been confronted with far more challenges and perspectives than I anticipated. I expected scorpions, tarantulas, latrines and candles, but feeling sometimes like a waste of space, I did not. A Frederick Douglass quote I learned from some of the JA Fellows last year seems very appropriate now: “Without struggle, there is no progress.” In this time, I have done a great deal of personal reflection and growth about how I define myself as well as thinking a lot about culture and connection with others. While I have been working in the school and spending more time in the community in general, I have been able to develop relationships with different people. The ability to connect with people on a personal level has been really meaningful for me especially as I have not had defined projects in which to work. Now, in the last few months of my time here, new projects have come up and I am working in several areas that the community has requested. It seems that some of these opportunities became available because I have gotten to know people better and they can trust that I am here to help.

-As the community prepares to bring a high school into town in 2011, I have been working with the high school planning committee to disaggregate data about how to best construct the school and attract students.

-After speaking with the leaders of the elementary and middle schools here and in the neighboring community of Santa Maria Dolores, I suggested using Junior Achievement economics curriculum to work with the students. They were excited about this new resource and this week, we finally started the programs teaching The Basics of Business, Advantages of Staying in School and Personal Economics. The students have not had the opportunity to reflect much on their personal or professional goals prior to this, so they are really engaged in the curriculum.

-I am also working on a young women’s workshop series with a long time middle school teacher, Maurilia, to focus on self-esteem. Through my work in the classroom, I have been really impressed with how smart and proactive the young women are in making their grades but I have also noticed that there is a disconnect between their work on paper and their willingness to speak up in the classroom and define their future goals. Maurilia agrees that this is a challenge for many of the girls and after talking about it together, we decided that we would do something to provide girls with a safe and open space to build their self-esteem and broaden their horizons.

-Finally, I just reconnected with Marta and the women’s group and shared with them that I would like to support at least two more loans of 1,000 quetzales each ($125) for subsequent years. The women pay back a 10% at the end of every loan cycle, which is a year, and therefore the loan pool continues to grow.

I am grateful to all of the folks who have already donated to support the causes here. The funds that are raised will go towards the women’s loans, to purchase resources for the new girls program, and to provide scholarships to local students who are furthering their education beyond the middle school level. Overall, we have set a fundraising goal of $1,000 to provide these opportunities and resources to the villages. If you are interested in supporting these causes, the communities of Santa Maria Tzeja and Santa Maria Dolores will benefit from your generosity.

All in all, the experience is turning out to be different than I expected but much richer in terms of how I have personally developed and built relationships with people. I now realize that the connection with others is the foundation that I needed to find and complete meaningful work. Because of these relationships, I know that I will maintain a connection to these communities for years to come.

It´s a whole new game.

It is very well known by my friends and family that I am a competitive person-a very competitive person. However, curiously, I never really participated in organized sports in high school or college. I did play high school soccer my sophomore year in an attempt to meet people after my family moved to Ohio, and I joined the cross-country team my senior year of college to help balance out the calories I was consuming from Pabst Blue Ribbon. And though I ended up competing in nationals that year, it wasn´t anything that I ever took too seriously. So the sportsman status I´ve acquired since moving down here has come with both surprise and a little bit of shame.

I started off playing goalie in Santa Maria Tzejá in a sincere attempt to get to know other people my age in the community. There was a soccer tournament starting in the neighboring community, so I agreed to join the team and my humble soccer career began. What had started off as a hobby, something for me to pass the time and get to know people, soon ballooned beyond my expectations.

Similar to my running in college, I tended to take the individual competitions seriously but not so much the larger picture. So, when I was recently asked to join the regional team a huge compliment, I shyly turned it down. I was surprised to learn that the captain of the team who consistently beat us (mostly figuratively but at times literally - see picture)in the neighboring town announced publicly that they would be even better “If we had that expletive gringo for a goalie“. Likewise, I was surprised when the organizer for our community team announced that “During this tournament we may have to make some changes, and no one, except Eduardo, is guaranteed to make it.” Seeing how he had only seen me play for one game, I felt more amazed and embarrassed by the praise than pride.

During the soccer games, my naturally competitive edge is only peaked when players on the opposing team inform me that they will be scoring several goals on me before the end of the game (to date, none of those guys actually have, something my competitive nature is all too pleased to share). It´s peaked even further when most of the heckling on the field isn´t directly targeted at me but players from the other team harassing each other that they can´t score on the gringo goalie. The competitiveness goes into full fury when the fans on the opposing team throw rocks at me during the game and call out ”My name is! My name is!” over and over in English. Thankfully at the end, win or lose, I shake hands and shake it off. Out of sight out of mind.

I freely admit my intensity on the field can be little much but that my attitude on the basketball court is plain out of control. Audrey is taller then most Guatemalans at her 5´3”. At close to six feet, I am nearly a giant. An overhand chuck from the three point line is the preferred method for a shot. 20 minute games usually end 10-6 or less, not a scoring bonanza. I, on the other hand, can make a layup. There is no reason what-so-ever for me to feel the need to take this sport competitively. I clearly have the advantages when it comes to playing basketball and I would do more than well to enjoy the sunshine, the exercise and the team play. Sadly my career on the court can best be illustrated by the last tournament I participated in.

The other team quickly realized that they could swat my arms and neck to prevent me from making my shots. It worked frustratingly well. At half time I “calmly” asked the ref what was and what was not considered a foul. It turns out that a push to the back is the only thing that constitutes a foul in Guatemalan Basketball. Was my holding onto the hips of the player trying to make a breakaway when my competitive nature got the best of me? Or was it me pushing the ball down the hill after every time I made a basket so I had more time to get back on defense? Or was it me intentionally coming down hard on players after they took their shot that proved my over reaching desire to win? I´m sure all of these acts contributed greatly to the fact that my victory over the middle school team for a $12 prize (to be split 6 ways) has really stung me as quite shameful. Not even the 35-6 victory consoled me.

I´m a nice guy; I am genuinely a caring compassionate person, but for some reason, be it playing cribbage with Audrey, Wii bowling against my mother or a friendly community sporting event, my competitive nature takes over. Perhaps it was best that I haven´t taken a keen interest in competitive sports till later in life, when I´m more…mature.

Memo RE: internet access

Dear friends and family,

Now that we're in early September, I'm sure you're asking yourself, where has the Holla been in Guatemala? Let me assure you, it's been dying to get out but just hasn't been able to.

We haven't posted a blog in a while because here in the jungle of rural Guatemala, our internet and computer access hasn't been as easy as you'd expect. Last month, the computer was infected with the Trojan Horse virus and though I myself am a proud Troy Trojan, I have no affiliation with this *%!@?/! virus. We weren't able to use it for about three weeks and finally got it fixed by a computer guru who worked on it for two days, reformatting it and reinstalling all of our programs. How much did we pay for this computer work? 25 Quetzales or $3.25. We thought that was a pretty fair price.

But the computer drama doesn't end there. Around the same time that the computer was infected, a tiny piece broke off the computer where the battery connects in, leaving the battery a little loose. This has resulted in a short that forces the computer to shut off at random intervals. And also at about that same time, the computer stopped recognizing that it has a DVD drive so we're no longer able to watch all the romantic comedies I brought down (Edd's really disappointed about that last one).

Finally, the last two weeks in Tzeja and continuing still, there hasn´t been internet access and no one seems to know why. I suppose waiting for internet access is relative when people have been waiting years for electricity and running water to come to the village.

All of this is certainly has made us appreciate the ease of technology and access to information that we have available all the time in the US. It has also taught us great lessons in patience and in the ability to not get so caught up in what we thought we HAD to do.

We´ve felt pretty disconnected from the outside world for the last month or so. In light of all of this, we hope you´ll excuse the tardiness of this and our subsequent posts.

Sincerely,
Audrey and Edd

RIP JIF

Audrey and I presented ourselves with a math equation when we first got to Guatemala: 2 people, 6 months, and 4 jars of peanut butter @ 2 pounds 8 ounces each. The question we asked ourselves was, “How long will 10 pounds of peanut butter last us?”

We each made a guess, folded it up, and taped it to the last jar of peanut butter, to be revealed when the final spoonful of creamy JIF was consumed. The date of final consumption turned out to be Saturday, July 18th almost exactly six weeks after we got here to Tzeja. (Which leads to some other equations of pounds of peanut butter consumed each week per person that we’ve agreed not to explore too deeply.)

Audrey’s approach to her guess was a practical ‘we’ll want to ration this out so it lasts’ hence her date of September 28th; a good guess at just over the half way point in our six month adventure here.

Before I reveal my guess I’d like to add several factors that were unknowns to me at the time of my prediction:
1) Unlike most people, I’ve never made a serious guess at how long it would take two individuals to eat, what appeared at first sight, to be an extremely large amount of peanut butter. This was a new experience for me and there was a bit of a learning curve.

2) I also assumed that at some point between the second and third jar we would tire of the taste of peanut butter. We’ve got fresh fruit and some vegetables all around us. Why would be want to continue to eat this sterile tasting snack?

3) But really what threw my guess off was that Audrey started working on the bee project in town and was given a giant container of fresh honey. This honey is not only one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted in my life, (it’s really mind-blowing how sweet and delicious it is; the honey tastes like blueberries mixed with what I imagine a flower tastes like. See video.) but it is a perfect compliment to the salty peanut taste. The three or four spoonfuls of peanut butter dipped in fresh gooey honey before class or basketball practice was the biggest “unknown” that led to my guess being so far off.

Here is exactly what I wrote. I’ve explained away why my guess was skewed. What I fail to explain, to myself or Audrey, is why I would take such an amazingly arrogant approach to my guess. Did I really have to declare “Today’s date is…” or the even more ridiculous line “Suck it!” as if I was a world champion peanut butter consummation estimator up against a rookie and my total victory was guaranteed. All the power, and fame that comes from guessing the correct date was in my hands, I knew it was. But it wasn’t.

While I continue to discern and ponder what it is I would like to do when I return to the States in 4 months, I have given up my dreams of a profession in guessing the termination date of food, or any other position in the psychic field for that matter. After coming to the realization that I will not become a food psychic and as Audrey continues to gloat over her victory, what is truly crushing for me is that I don’t even the solace of a giant spoonful of peanut butter, dipped in honey, to console me. RIP JIF.

Take your vitamins

One of the great things about living in Guatemala is knowing where the majority of our food comes from. If we're having chicken soup for lunch, we know that the chicken was just running around the yard this morning. It can´t get much fresher. All of the food is grown locally and recently - corn comes from fields nearby and we have a variety of fresh, tropical fruit. But one of the challenges to living here is also the lack of variety in things that we had grown accustomed to in the States, specifically vegetables.

Cabbage here is common but it´s rare to see lettuce and so we haven´t had a salad in the traditional sense in quite some time. Sporadically, we have cucumbers, carrots, squash and other vegetables but it´s unpredictable when those will be available. We eat a lot of corn (tortillas with every meal!) and eggs, beans, and rice. The food is delicious, and pretty predictable.

Knowing this, I wrote to my favorite Atlanta health food store, Return to Eden. I shared what Edd and I are doing in Guatemala and asked if they would be willing to sponsor us by providing 6 months of vitamins for each of us while we are here. Peter, Patrick and the other folks at Return to Eden eagerly complied and we are truly grateful to have these vitamins every day.

So take note: if you are living in Atlanta, shop at Return to Eden! They have a helpful staff, all organic produce, lots of supplements AND the best gluten-free food selection in Atlanta. They also offer several health seminars throughout the year. Thank you, Return to Eden, for sponsoring our wellness in Guatemala!

Cultural connections

Anyone who has ever traveled abroad knows the experience of learning how to navigate through a new set of cultural brackets. As much as one tries not to step on cultural sensitivities, they surely pop up at one time or another. Whether it is an error at the diner table, crossing gender roles, or general etiquette in the street, no book or intensive course can explain every possible situation and response that etiquette in a new culture would dictate.

While in Guatemala, I am aware that I am a representative of not only myself but also the United States. Without forgetting the values that I keep from my own background, I also want to respectfully participate as an active member in Tzeja’s society. I am constantly dancing with the cultural expectations of Guatemala and my own ingrained understanding of appropriateness.

After seven months here in Santa Maria Tzeja I still find myself overstepping boundaries and exposing unknown cultural standards in a way that leaves me kicking myself for days. The hardest part for me in living here is balancing my own cultural understandings with the community’s understood cultural norms – we each have them and expect that everyone else shares them, when in fact, they can be very different.

Many people have shown surprise that I continue to wash my own clothes even after Audrey has come down to be with me. What was at first a curiosity about a man washing his own clothes has become doubly curious, for many, on why the woman wouldn’t fulfill her role in the relationship. Because women here have a much more defined and rigid role then the men, many cultural differences are emphasized much more quickly by Audrey’s presence than my own. When Audrey runs to excercise, talks with men, and the fact that she doesn’t know how to make tortillas on an open fire, the community’s expectations of what it means to be a woman are brought into view for all to see.

Here are a few situations in which I have found myself - you’re welcome to try your hand in navigating the cultural gymnastics:

1) I am eating dinner at my boss’s house. About 30 minutes after dinner, my boss’s wife begins to breastfeed the 3 month old baby at the dinner table. I should

a. excuse myself because I’ve clearly overstayed my welcome.

b. not be weird since she’s just feeding her child.

c. feel comfortable staying but I should be very careful not to focus any attention in her direction.

2) My host mother is busy one morning and I have the day off of school so I take her 9month and 3 year old down to the town center to buy some household products such as toilet paper and diapers. Because it is my day off, I am wearing a dirty t-shirt and shorts. Several people make comments that it’s funny that I’m:

a. watching children, let alone carrying a baby in my arms.

b. buying things for the family.

c. wearing shorts and a dirty shirt in public.

3) Another teacher invites me over for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. I bring a watermelon and show up at the exact hour of the invitation. During the meal, I attempt to converse with my hosts but things feel slightly strained. Which of my actions was most likely causing anxiety for my hosts?

a. As the guest, I didn’t need to bring any additional food.

b. My hosts were not expecting me to show up at the exact hour, but half an hour to an hour later than the time stated.

c. It’s not natural to speak at the dinner table during the meal; conversations begin when the meal is complete.

No matter how different our cultural backgrounds may seem I am reminded of a deeper connection we, as humans, share. Watching young boys and girls play seems to be of little difference around the world. I enjoy watching the girls here raid their mother’s jewelry box, and play with their dolls at tea parties. The boys here in Tzeja are just as focused on wrestling and picking up toads they find as I was when I was their age. So, as much as I kick myself for unintentionally stepping on cultural toes, I am reminded of how much of my interactions far transcend all cultural differences. Smiles, warm handshakes, helping others, and heartfelt laughs far outpace the other misunderstanding of our cultural standards.

Above is a video that I caught of some boys playing outside the elementary school during recess the other morning. Besides it illustrating my ideas that cultural differences are transcended, it makes me smile with the joy and excitement that radiates from them when they play.

Also, here is a link to an interview with Stuart Brown from the program “Speaking of Faith”. Stuart Brown is a physician and director of the National Institute for Play and he has studied the importance of play in the development of morals and ethics in humans. He does a good job of articulating the universality of play and its importance worldwide.

Quiz answers: Question 1. B: She was just feeding the baby and it would be rude for me to pull away and leave or exclude her in the conversation by turning away.

Question 2. A: It is very uncommon to see men carrying children.

Question 3 C: While bringing additional items to the house and showing up that the exact hour would seem odd, conversation is reserved for after the meal is complete. It’s ok to just pay attention to your food during the meal.