Cultural connections

Anyone who has ever traveled abroad knows the experience of learning how to navigate through a new set of cultural brackets. As much as one tries not to step on cultural sensitivities, they surely pop up at one time or another. Whether it is an error at the diner table, crossing gender roles, or general etiquette in the street, no book or intensive course can explain every possible situation and response that etiquette in a new culture would dictate.

While in Guatemala, I am aware that I am a representative of not only myself but also the United States. Without forgetting the values that I keep from my own background, I also want to respectfully participate as an active member in Tzeja’s society. I am constantly dancing with the cultural expectations of Guatemala and my own ingrained understanding of appropriateness.

After seven months here in Santa Maria Tzeja I still find myself overstepping boundaries and exposing unknown cultural standards in a way that leaves me kicking myself for days. The hardest part for me in living here is balancing my own cultural understandings with the community’s understood cultural norms – we each have them and expect that everyone else shares them, when in fact, they can be very different.

Many people have shown surprise that I continue to wash my own clothes even after Audrey has come down to be with me. What was at first a curiosity about a man washing his own clothes has become doubly curious, for many, on why the woman wouldn’t fulfill her role in the relationship. Because women here have a much more defined and rigid role then the men, many cultural differences are emphasized much more quickly by Audrey’s presence than my own. When Audrey runs to excercise, talks with men, and the fact that she doesn’t know how to make tortillas on an open fire, the community’s expectations of what it means to be a woman are brought into view for all to see.

Here are a few situations in which I have found myself - you’re welcome to try your hand in navigating the cultural gymnastics:

1) I am eating dinner at my boss’s house. About 30 minutes after dinner, my boss’s wife begins to breastfeed the 3 month old baby at the dinner table. I should

a. excuse myself because I’ve clearly overstayed my welcome.

b. not be weird since she’s just feeding her child.

c. feel comfortable staying but I should be very careful not to focus any attention in her direction.

2) My host mother is busy one morning and I have the day off of school so I take her 9month and 3 year old down to the town center to buy some household products such as toilet paper and diapers. Because it is my day off, I am wearing a dirty t-shirt and shorts. Several people make comments that it’s funny that I’m:

a. watching children, let alone carrying a baby in my arms.

b. buying things for the family.

c. wearing shorts and a dirty shirt in public.

3) Another teacher invites me over for lunch on a Sunday afternoon. I bring a watermelon and show up at the exact hour of the invitation. During the meal, I attempt to converse with my hosts but things feel slightly strained. Which of my actions was most likely causing anxiety for my hosts?

a. As the guest, I didn’t need to bring any additional food.

b. My hosts were not expecting me to show up at the exact hour, but half an hour to an hour later than the time stated.

c. It’s not natural to speak at the dinner table during the meal; conversations begin when the meal is complete.

No matter how different our cultural backgrounds may seem I am reminded of a deeper connection we, as humans, share. Watching young boys and girls play seems to be of little difference around the world. I enjoy watching the girls here raid their mother’s jewelry box, and play with their dolls at tea parties. The boys here in Tzeja are just as focused on wrestling and picking up toads they find as I was when I was their age. So, as much as I kick myself for unintentionally stepping on cultural toes, I am reminded of how much of my interactions far transcend all cultural differences. Smiles, warm handshakes, helping others, and heartfelt laughs far outpace the other misunderstanding of our cultural standards.

Above is a video that I caught of some boys playing outside the elementary school during recess the other morning. Besides it illustrating my ideas that cultural differences are transcended, it makes me smile with the joy and excitement that radiates from them when they play.

Also, here is a link to an interview with Stuart Brown from the program “Speaking of Faith”. Stuart Brown is a physician and director of the National Institute for Play and he has studied the importance of play in the development of morals and ethics in humans. He does a good job of articulating the universality of play and its importance worldwide.

Quiz answers: Question 1. B: She was just feeding the baby and it would be rude for me to pull away and leave or exclude her in the conversation by turning away.

Question 2. A: It is very uncommon to see men carrying children.

Question 3 C: While bringing additional items to the house and showing up that the exact hour would seem odd, conversation is reserved for after the meal is complete. It’s ok to just pay attention to your food during the meal.