In a summer theatre program in elementary school, I was a dwarf in a spin-off of Snow White, though that’s not what this blog post is about. During my four months here in Guatemala, I have yet to write a blog post about what I am actually doing here. Allow me to explain.
Upon deciding to move down to Guatemala, I spoke with community leaders about work with which SMT needed some help. It seemed that I would be working with various groups and members of the community on entrepreneurial initiatives, possibly focused on microfinance. In my first month here, I did indeed meet with several people involved with various projects:
-Emiliano – an engineer, the town’s first university graduate and former mayor of the community who is interested in starting a sustainable forestry business to maximize the resources of the area.
-Aurelio – a near-university grad working with a honey project in its second year of development whose members are interested in expanding the viability of their (delicious!) honey on the market.
-Marta – the 2009 director of the women’s committee, which has their own microlending program that they administer every year to women who want to earn extra money through small projects like a chicken farm or string for weaving.
After those initial conversations, which seemed to go very well, I heard little to nothing from those individuals, even after following up and leaving detailed project notes. Instead, I have been primarily planning and teaching the English classes with Edd. I really enjoy teaching but I have also felt frustrated about not going anywhere with these projects I that I thought would be working with. I sent my friend Katie a message explaining my frustration and here is an excerpt of what she sent back; it’s a concise statement about the complicated nature “helping”.
“On the one hand, you don't want to impose your own ideas of what the community needs, so you want to be responsive to what the community asks for. On the other hand, if the community doesn't ask you for anything, you're a bump on a log and feel useless. Then, there you are, feeling useless, and your own needs (to be useful, needed, relied on for something) have creeped back into the picture! Your scrupulous, conscientious efforts to be selfless are totally backfiring! This is a serious quandary. The ideal is to respond to the needs of the community. But there are two problems associated with that approach- (1) what if the community thinks it doesn't need you (or worse, what if they're right)? and (2) what if you can't provide what the community thinks it needs? Both of these possibilities can be scary. Very possibly risks worth taking, but scary.”
So, in the midst of my altruistic quest in moving to SMT, I have actually been confronted with far more challenges and perspectives than I anticipated. I expected scorpions, tarantulas, latrines and candles, but feeling sometimes like a waste of space, I did not. A Frederick Douglass quote I learned from some of the JA Fellows last year seems very appropriate now: “Without struggle, there is no progress.” In this time, I have done a great deal of personal reflection and growth about how I define myself as well as thinking a lot about culture and connection with others. While I have been working in the school and spending more time in the community in general, I have been able to develop relationships with different people. The ability to connect with people on a personal level has been really meaningful for me especially as I have not had defined projects in which to work. Now, in the last few months of my time here, new projects have come up and I am working in several areas that the community has requested. It seems that some of these opportunities became available because I have gotten to know people better and they can trust that I am here to help.
-As the community prepares to bring a high school into town in 2011, I have been working with the high school planning committee to disaggregate data about how to best construct the school and attract students.
-After speaking with the leaders of the elementary and middle schools here and in the neighboring community of Santa Maria Dolores, I suggested using Junior Achievement economics curriculum to work with the students. They were excited about this new resource and this week, we finally started the programs teaching The Basics of Business, Advantages of Staying in School and Personal Economics. The students have not had the opportunity to reflect much on their personal or professional goals prior to this, so they are really engaged in the curriculum.
-I am also working on a young women’s workshop series with a long time middle school teacher, Maurilia, to focus on self-esteem. Through my work in the classroom, I have been really impressed with how smart and proactive the young women are in making their grades but I have also noticed that there is a disconnect between their work on paper and their willingness to speak up in the classroom and define their future goals. Maurilia agrees that this is a challenge for many of the girls and after talking about it together, we decided that we would do something to provide girls with a safe and open space to build their self-esteem and broaden their horizons.
-Finally, I just reconnected with Marta and the women’s group and shared with them that I would like to support at least two more loans of 1,000 quetzales each ($125) for subsequent years. The women pay back a 10% at the end of every loan cycle, which is a year, and therefore the loan pool continues to grow.
I am grateful to all of the folks who have already donated to support the causes here. The funds that are raised will go towards the women’s loans, to purchase resources for the new girls program, and to provide scholarships to local students who are furthering their education beyond the middle school level. Overall, we have set a fundraising goal of $1,000 to provide these opportunities and resources to the villages. If you are interested in supporting these causes, the communities of Santa Maria Tzeja and Santa Maria Dolores will benefit from your generosity.
All in all, the experience is turning out to be different than I expected but much richer in terms of how I have personally developed and built relationships with people. I now realize that the connection with others is the foundation that I needed to find and complete meaningful work. Because of these relationships, I know that I will maintain a connection to these communities for years to come.
